Reading and Writing Cancer: How Words Heal

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If someone you know has been diagnosed with cancer, it can very hard to know what to say or how to express yourself. You will want to show concern, likewise as expressing your support and encouragement. Writing a letter can be a good style to approach this, as you will accept fourth dimension to carefully choose your words. The tone of the letter will depend on your relationship merely aim for a letter that expresses how yous feel straight and conspicuously.

1. one

   Say something. When someone you lot know is diagnosed with cancer, you might feel completely numb or unable to process the situation. Information technology is perfectly normal to be deplorable and upset nigh the state of affairs, and not know what to practise, but it'south important that y'all don't migrate away from your friend. Even if you lot don't know what to say or how to react, make an try to reach out and show your friend that yous are at that place.

   • Merely sending a short note or email at get-go saying yous take heard the news and are thinking of them can aid your friend feel a scrap less alone.^[1]
   • Y'all could say, "I'm sorry this has happened. I'1000 thinking of you."^[2]
   • If yous don't know what to say, it's okay to acknowledge this. Say "I'k not certain what to say, but I want you lot to know that I care and I'm hither for you lot."^[3]

2. 2

   Offer emotional support. Everybody is different, simply someone who has but been diagnosed with cancer volition probably exist feeling very lonely. Information technology's imperative that y'all prove that you are at that place to back up and help in any fashion you can. You can limited your back up past saying "Please permit me know how I can help."

   • Just being a good listener tin brand a deviation to somebody. Say something like, "If you want to talk, I'grand there for you."^[4]
   • While you should offer to listen, you shouldn't press her to talk or laissez passer on more information to y'all about the diagnosis.

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3. 3

   Offer practical support. In your letter of the alphabet will you want to show that you are at that place to help in any manner you can. This support can be practical as well equally emotional. In some cases, practical help tin can be a big help to a friend suffering from cancer. Offering to exercise everyday tasks such every bit helping to look after children and pets, or washing and cooking, can really assist somebody who is tired or feeling weak.

   • Keep in mind that your friend may not want to feel that she is putting you out by asking for something.
   • Try to assistance in a manner that looks casual, fifty-fifty if information technology isn't.
   • For example, if you are offer to pick the kids up from school, yous could say "I'yard always in the area when they terminate school and could option them up on the mode home."
   • Don't merely say, "would y'all like me to pick up your kids from school?" Make a direct offer, similar "Permit me option upwards the kids from school for y'all."^[5]

4. 4

   Be encouraging. It's important to express encouragement and not exist pessimistic or too downbeat. Information technology can be difficult to discover the right residue, as information technology's equally important not to display fake optimism or downplay the seriousness of the situation. Acknowledge the situation, just always express your back up and encouragement.

   • You could say, "I know this is an incredibly difficult journeying you are on, merely I am here to back up you and assistance you in any way I can to aid you get through it."^[6]

5. v

   Use sense of humour when appropriate. Depending on your friend and your relationship, sense of humour might exist a good way to show encouragement and support while as well helping your friend grin. This can exist difficult to achieve in a letter of the alphabet when you are non able to gauge the reaction and torso language of the other person.

   • For example, joking about something like hair loss can be a skillful style to relieve stress.^[7]
   • Use your judgement, and if in doubt avoid making any jokes in the alphabetic character.
   • Equally the person goes through handling, they may need some easygoing entertainment. Utilise comedy every bit a form of relief. Sentry a funny movie, visit an improv dark, or sentinel a comedian on the internet together.

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1. 1

   Remember that each cancer journey is different. Y'all might know someone who has been through cancer, but you shouldn't endeavor to relate that experience to your friend's diagnosis. Endeavour to avoid sharing stories nearly people you know who take suffered from cancer, and think that each case is different.

   • Instead you can let your friend know that you lot are familiar with cancer upwardly to a point, and let your friend decide whether or not to inquire y'all to elaborate.^[8]
   • Saying something like, "my neighbour had cancer, and he came through just fine" is not that likely to reassure your friend.
   • You may requite the impression that you lot are detracting attending from her when you are trying to show support and solidarity.^[9]
   • While you lot may want to say the correct matter to your friend, it is more important that you can be a good listener for the other person. They may tell you what kind of back up they need.

2. 2

   Don't say yous understand what your friend is going through. Yous might remember y'all are expressing support and solidarity, but unless you accept been through cancer, y'all do not know how your friend will exist feeling, so don't say you do.^[ten] If y'all say something like "I know just what you're going through," or "I really know how you feel" it might seem like you lot are not taking information technology seriously enough.^[11]

   • If you attempt to equate your friend'due south diagnosis to a hard period is yours or somebody else's life; it tin can run into badly and be insensitive.
   • If you know somebody who has been through cancer, you tin mention this and offer to innovate them, but don't push it.
   • You tin merely say, "I have friend who went through cancer a few years ago, if you like, I can put you in bear on."^[12]
   • You can also offer sympathetic statements of back up like "I tin can't imagine how hard this is on yous" or "if you need me, I am here for you."

3. 3

   Don't offering advice and don't gauge. You might call back information technology is helpful to offering advice on how to deal with cancer, or how somebody you know was helped by some alternative treatment. Your friend, notwithstanding, will not want to read a long story about something that doesn't actually have anything to practice with her. Offering communication near something you have no clear experience of u.s.a., no affair how well meaning, tin appear insensitive. Exit the communication to the doctors.^[13]

   • This is too non the fourth dimension to enquire questions nigh your friend's lifestyle or habits.
   • Peradventure your friend is a long-time smoker, who you spoke to about lung cancer countless times. That doesn't affair now. Just focus on supporting her and being sensitive.^[14]
   • No matter what your beliefs are, try not to convince the person to try a certain type of treatment. Whether they are going through conventional or alternative treatments, it is their decision.

4. 4

   Don't be blindly optimistic. While it is important to be positive, yous shouldn't say something like "I'm sure you'll exist fine," or "y'all'll get through it no problem." Y'all may just be trying to prove support, merely what yous say might be interpreted every bit analytical the seriousness of the situation. You may not know all the facts almost the diagnosis and the prognosis.^[15]

   • Don't push button your friend to reveal more well-nigh the prognosis than she has already.
   • Rather take the time to educate yourself as much as possible independently.
   • You lot tin can talk to friends or family to find out more information, just respect your friend's privacy at all times.^[16]

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• Question

  What exercise yous say to someone with cancer?

  

  Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Principal of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth Academy in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Mail-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Handling (EMDR).

  

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• Question

  What practice you write to a cancer patient?

  

  Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With feel in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well every bit certification in Family unit Therapy, Supervision, Arbitration, and Trauma Recovery and Handling (EMDR).

  

  Licensed Social Worker

  Expert Respond

  

  Support wikiHow past unlocking this expert reply.

  Let them know you are thinking most them. Offer emotional and applied back up. Utilise a little humor if you know them well plenty. Information technology is okay to admit your own feelings—you can say that you are surprised or bummed out most information technology.

• Question

  What exercise y'all write on a card when someone is dying?

  

  Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, equally well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

  

  Licensed Social Worker

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• Question

  What tin can I do for a friend with cancer?

  

  Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth Academy in 1983. She also holds a two-Year Mail-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Arbitration, and Trauma Recovery and Handling (EMDR).

  

  Licensed Social Worker

  Expert Answer

  

  Support wikiHow by unlocking this skillful respond.

  Don't ignore them or act as if you will "grab" the cancer! And by all ways, do not abandon them out of awkwardness. Do something practical. Don't await for them to tell you what to practice—be proactive.

• Question

  A friend of fifty years has been diagnosed with colon cancer. During our concluding phone call, she thinks she told me her diagnosis only she didn't. Now, she won't talk to me. What do I exercise?

  

  Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With feel in bookish counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Primary of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Twelvemonth Mail service-Graduate Document from the Gestalt Constitute of Cleveland, too as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

  

  Licensed Social Worker

  Skillful Answer

  

  Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

  A cancer diagnosis affects then many things in a person's life. Apologize to your friend fifty-fifty if it is not your error. Let her know how important she is to you. Don't just have being pushed abroad.

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• Don't change the way you interact with the person because they take cancer. Recall to treat them the same manner you always have.

• Don't write one letter and disappear. True support comes with continued activeness, not just a few words.

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Article Summary X

If you want to write to someone who has been diagnosed with cancer, remember that sending a letter of the alphabet can exist a neat way to start a conversation and express your support and encouragement. Start your letter by letting them know that you're upset almost the situation and that they're on your listen. Then, write a sentence to offer emotional support, similar "Whenever y'all want to talk, I'1000 here for you." If you're close with the person, offering practical support by saying something similar "I'yard planning to bring over some nutrient for you and your family unit this Sunday." For tips on what to say when yous're unsure or aren't every bit close with the person, go along reading!

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